Reflections on the past 7 years...

I still remember the day when I walked into the YWAM campus for DTS clueless about what I would end up doing and some regrets still lingering in the corners of my mind. All I knew sure inside of me was Jesus deserved every area of my life and I was passionate to do anything for Him. 7 years have passed by serving God and His people. And over the years I have come to realize that God is primarily interested in my “being” (in Him). My “doing” (for Him) is just the fruit of my “being” (in Him). And in the process of being discipled, I am constantly been challenged to grow up to be “a man of integrity” – bearing the image of God and reflecting the same. Am I perfect? Absolutely not! But one thing I know is that God is definitely at work in my life and this I can be sure of till I die. I have seen tangible and intangible evidences of the same and some of which I wish to share here and in my upcoming blog entries but with no desire to satisfy the “success-measuring” appetite of people out there.

When I stepped out in faith into what I believed God was calling me to, many people asked me whether I was making a sound decision. A few even thought I was nuts giving up on career. Some even went to the extreme of creating alternate plans of how God’s calling in my life could be accomplished without giving up on the dreams of the “good life”. After a series of training when I chose to stay with YWAM as a staff, the question was “Why YWAM?”. In addition to this, my radical lifestyle in an attempt to be relevant to the crowd I was witnessing attracted a lot of critics questioning my faith, doctrines and so on. When I would barely struggle to silence them, then would the next storm of questions arise related to my salary and positions held. The holier ones would ask me the count of souls I’ve won for Jesus. Sadly I never kept a count and surprisingly I am not paid or ever got promoted. Most of these people were not strangers to me. Some of them were my family and friends who loved me and had the best intention for me. I don’t despise them. But the only difference was that I had a slightly better understanding of what God had called me to.

So what does God exactly do with a guy who has a proud mind, an inflated ego hiding his insecurities and a colonialist dream to win the world for Jesus? He breaks and shapes him and continues to do so till he becomes all that He wants him to be. And that is exactly my story to tell. So when I tell my story I don’t have blazing figures of crowd witnessed to or lucrative titles I’ve held. My story is a journey of brokenness. I’ve worked with people that have built me and with those that have drained every ounce of me. I’ve lived with people who get under your skin and with those whose very presence around you gives life to the sinews of your being. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my friendships from different cultures and sobbed like a baby when dear ones distanced. I’ve voiced out for what I saw as injustice and unrighteousness, yet was also humbled in the process to get rid of the mess in my life and learn to patiently love others as Jesus loves me. I’ve not always succeeded in this attempt but desire to live out in peace and reconciliation. And I am still learning and growing in the process.

There were times when I felt like I was truly living out God’s calling over my life to the fullest, and times when I felt like I lacked direction. There were seasons where I felt I was truly an asset to the body I worked with, followed by seasons where I felt being wasted, used and alone. There were days when I would always dream of all the things I could accomplish, accompanied by nights when the magnitude of the same would overwhelm me and make me look like a failure. I’ve seen God’s goodness in crazy ways and also questioned His goodness when I don’t see it happen my way. I’ve sometimes secretly envied the “good life”, yet by His grace been surprised when He defines and demonstrates it.

Sometimes like the psalmist who scribed Psalm 73, I felt this task to understand my life and everything I’ve seen and experienced was too wearisome, until I was welcomed into the presence of the Most High. It is here I saw that I am held by Him and constantly led by His counsel. He is my strength and portion when my heart and flesh fails. And it is these humbling encounters with God that makes me truly desire to be near God and to taste His goodness alone. And I am forever thankful to God for all these years and the many more to come.

At this moment I would also like to thank my family (near and extended), friends, mentors and strangers who’ve stood with me all these years praying, encouraging and even financially extending your blessing in this journey of mine to what God is calling me to be and do. All I can assure is that God would continue to bless you to be a blessing. Currently I am involved with the training and administrative work at YWAM Lonavala. I do sometimes travel and teach at YWAM bases and churches. My fun time activities include reading and thinking and then somehow translating those on paper (prose and poetry). I do not stand at this juncture having accomplished great feats, but as a dreamer having great expectations from God and a humble prayer to stay faithful to the One who called me to desire for God and His Kingdome alone. AMEN!

March - July 2013 Update!!!

Transition to any new place from Lonavala, no matter how short the tenure, is always difficult. The very thought of leaving behind the place and people who nurtured and helped you grow in maturity, is not easy. But this move to Shillong to staff the School of Humanities and Science was something I deeply desired. Now looking back at my time with the school there – the learning, the responsibilities and the relationships, it has been truly rewarding and I know that this season was definitely from God.

The School of Humanities and Science was led by Denny John. We had 8 students from 3 different nationalities. We had an impressive line-up of speakers from all over the globe come to teach in the school. The students and staff were constantly challenged in their understanding and living out of what it means to “know God, His word and His world”. I had the privilege of teaching on “Songs, Songwriting and the Bible” during one of the week. I personally enjoyed studying what the Bible has to speak to songwriters and musicians of all ages to be creative, excellent and relevant to their audience they speak to. Christian faith and mission throughout history has been marked by Incarnation and Transcendence in most of the cultures where the gospel is taken to. Songwriting and music and its interaction with the church have also been impacted by this. It was pure revelation to trace this alchemy throughout church history and see the good and bad of it down till our age.

HAS 2013 @ YWAM Shillong

Now I am back at UofN Lonavala, India with a desire to strengthen the training here. For the upcoming season I will be co-leading the School of Worship (SOW) with a dear friend and colleague of mine. We’ve begun with the preparations and I am excited and looking forward for another season of experiencing God’s “GLORY, BEAUTY & HOLINESS” and hopefully a euphoric season of writing new songs together with a new bunch of musicians and worshipers.

I earnestly ask your continued friendship, prayers and wisdom for the upcoming season as I co-lead SOW and also for my teaching engagements with different YWAM schools in India.

Sep 2012 - Feb 2013 Update

As I look back into my life since September 2012, most of it revolved around the School of Biblical Studies (SBS) at UofN Lonavala and my band 24x7. So I would love to give you an update of what God has been doing in and through my life being associated with SBS and 24x7.

Being a staff (faculty) with the SBS has definitely been one of the most challenging and learning experiences this season. My days would be pretty packed with lectures, staff meetings, grading assignments and one-on-ones with students. And then I would also have to prepare for the books I would be teaching. But in all of the busyness, my hunger to know God and His Word never died. God kept reminding me that I am a student of the Bible for life. God’s Sovereignty and His Love for His people were the constant themes that surfaced in my study of Ephesians, Colossians and Deuteronomy as I taught these books in the SBS here. I was challenged to see the word come alive not only in my study but also in its observance.

Life never seemed diminished during the last 6 months as I was always occupied with my band’s recording sessions and practice when I found time from SBS. By the grace of God, we’ve finished recording our album in its entirety and now await the final product to launch sometime soon as we get it back mixed which seems to take a long time. We also had the privilege to participate in the Hornbill National Rock Contest last December in Nagaland and it was a pure joy to see us get through the finals and win a special category award for being the Most Catchy Power Rhythm band.

As I reflect on what God has been doing in my life as I’ve been involved with these two disciplines, I can say that I’ve learnt and grown, cried and rejoiced, fought battles and found rest in my journey over the last 6 months as I see a glimpse of what my calling looks like. Now what lies ahead of me is a journey with the School of Humanities and Sciences (HAS) at YWAM Shillong (northeast India) which I would be a staff (faculty) for the next 4 months. I am stoked to be part of this school as I get to be part of something that I am truly excited and fascinated by and I am truly honored to be working with Denny John (HAS school leader) who has always challenged both my thinking and creative faculty for God’s glory. I truly believe my time with HAS, Denny and Shillong will allow me to be fine-tuned to what God has called me to and then make prayerful and wise decisions to see what lies ahead of me after June.

So I am indeed grateful to all your prayers and support in both tangible and intangible ways over the last year and would ask you to continue to do the same for my upcoming adventures with God and the needs associated with it. I do need your prayer especially for my time with HAS to be effective and that I would be an asset to YWAM Shillong and its ministries to the best of my abilities and that I would be obedient to all that God has for me.

Thank you for taking your precious time and reading through my update!

God Bless You all!!!

January-July 2012 update

Greetings!!!

I know that it has been a long time since I’ve given a formal update of what’s been happening in my life this year. And so here I begin and I’ll keep it short and sweet…

This year began with a long-awaited break after my School Of Biblical Studies (SBS) which I got to spend with my family and friends in India. After which I joined back as a staff with the University of the Nations (UofN), Lonavala, India. I am currently a staff with the Arts With A Mission department and I am a member of the band 24x7. I also help out with the library management in the campus as my secondary responsibility. 

The transition from being a student in the SBS in Taiwan to being a staff at the UofN in India was never easy. It took me few weeks to fit the mold, but I believe that God was disciplining me in the process. He gave me grace and wisdom to be patient and loving and most importantly to hold onto His calling in my life and live accordingly. One of my comforts was His voice that spoke through the book of Malachi which I read over and over for countless number of times. Apart from the Bible, I also had the joy of reading some other books like "Saving Leonardo", "Missionary Conspiracy: Letters to a Postmodern Hindu", "Two Views on Women in Ministry".

One of the areas of growth that I’ve seen in my life is to do with the gift of teaching as God brought in several opportunities for me to teach but also gave me wisdom to choose the topics that I could speak with authority and from being taught in life. I had the honor of teaching “Christian Biblical Worldview” and “How to Study the Bible” in the Discipleship Training Schools (DTS) and the book of “Joel” and a topical teaching on “Ethics” in the School of Biblical Studies (SBS) here. It was definitely a learning experience and I look forward to more of these in the coming seasons as I staff the upcoming SBS here and travel around for teachings. 

It was quite silent as to what we were doing as a band at the start of the year, but by the grace of God we are currently recording our first metal album. It was and is still a challenging process, but I learned a lot and looking back I could not be less thankful to God and be surprised by the songs I’ve written and the music that God birthed in us. God willing the album would be released this year and we are looking forward to hit a few of the big venues for metal concerts this year.

I would really appreciate your prayers and support as I staff and teach in the upcoming SBS and also tour with my band. I definitely need wisdom and grace in making decisions and to be faithful in God’s calling over my life with every opportunity that He brings in my life.

Thank You for taking your time and reading my blog!!! 

God Bless You!!!

SBS in Taiwan - 7th month update!!!

If you had asked me seven months ago what was my most dreaded book in the Bible, I would have said “Isaiah”! It’s not because of the difficulties in interpreting the book, but more so because of the tiring faces of SBS students I have seen in the past while they charted the book. But I am so glad that I made it through by the grace of God!

So after enjoying a much relaxed and fruitful break after the 2^nd quarter, I was all ready to jump into the wisdom literature and the prophets. The 7^th month of my SBS opened my mind to the riches of the wisdom literature which left me hungry for more of God’s Wisdom as I was studying the book of Proverbs, Job, Song of Solomon and Ecclesiastes. God opened my eyes to see wisdom, inseparable from the fear and knowledge of God, crying out loud from the streets for all who pass by. But I also see the apathy of our generation that we walk away from her pursuing the temporal pleasures of the world. And then we got on with the ‘Introduction to Prophets’ seminar and started off with Amos and Hosea, followed by the Isaiah - the beast, as we would call it…lol…

It was truly humbling to see the heart of God at display as He addresses the religious, moral and social corruption of Israel. The God who redeemed Israel, His ‘firstborn son’, out of the bondage of slavery in Egypt, now calls the nation ‘a whore’ because of her idolatrous and immoral living. The God who laid down the ordinances of their appointed feasts no longer desires in their worship because their very celebration is mockery displayed by their oppression of the poor and needy. The wrath of God against all ungodliness is unveiled but then He follows it up with His merciful call to His people to return back to Him in repentance and obedience and thereby promises restoration. One of the convicting questions posed before me during the entire SBS was this last week as I was doing my assignments for Isaiah. 

“Why do I follow Jesus? 

Do I follow him because of what I can get from him (expectations)? 

or Do I follow Him because of HIS worth?” 

I know that I am not there yet, but I want to grow up to that state where all that I desires is JESUS and being satisfied in Him may my heart echo that ‘GOD is ENOUGH for me’!

Once again I request your prayers that I would grow up into all that God wants me to be and that I would be humble as He teaches me His word. 

Blessings,

SBS in Taiwan - 6th month update

So here I am in Taiwan enjoying my 2nd quarter break. Over the last couple of days I went for a hike, watched the Lord of the Rings Trilogy with some of my friends and I am enjoying devotion times with God processing through with what I’ve been learning over the last months and praying for clear directions for what holds ahead of SBS. I am also getting some time to read some books. And so I am enjoying my break and I love the rest I’m getting. All of what I said above won’t make any sense if you have no idea of what I have been going through the last month. So here’s the update...

The last month started off on a great note with a great party we, as students, put forth for our SBS staffs. But then I had no clue of what was to hit me next. I spent 165 hours studying 800 years of the history of Israel beginning with the rise of Judges till the exile of Judah into Babylon. The amount of ink spent as my hands perspired while doing my assignments was nothing compared to the pain I went through of disciplining my mind, body and soul to focus on my study. But then as I turned in my last assignment on the book of Chronicles, I felt a sense of achievement + excitement anticipating the rest, but also seemed like a big wave of the realization of God’s Sovereignty rushing all over me that I could hardly contain or comprehend. All through the books of Judges, Ruth, Samuel, Kings and Chronicles, I was encountered by a God who is Sovereign, not presented as an impersonal, fatalistic force, but as a personal being who responds in grace and mercy to the needs of the people, as a righteous God who punishes His children who rebel against Him and are disobedient yet forgives them when they repent from their sins. All through the pages of these books I could sense God’s heart for His people to walk in His ways and a godly leadership to lead His people into the same. I walked out from these books being highly impacted by the lives of ordinary people like Gideon, Samson, Ruth, Samuel, David, Solomon and Josiah yet their radical obedience, faith and strength in God helped them achieve the extraordinary.

As always I am thankful to God for bringing people like you into my life that makes me genuinely know that there is someone that is keen to know what is happening in my life and willing to pray and strengthen me in this journey. I would really appreciate your prayers for the last phase of my study here in Taiwan as we get into the wisdom literature and the minor and major prophets. Also I am trusting God for 50000 NT=1700 USD=80000 INR (approx.) that would help me pay off my remaining fees and cover my living and food expenses for the 3rd quarter. So please continue to pray for me that I would continue to trust God not just for my finances but also for strength to finish well. Keep me updated with whats happening in your life as well as I am praying for you too. 

Finally I wanna conclude with this thought that has been stirring me as I was reading one of the books this week,

“‘The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire’. – Field Marshall Ferdinand Foch.

May God Bless You in all your ways as you yearn to be set on fire by Him.

AMEN!!!

SBS in Taiwan - 5th month update

“I AM WHO I AM.”

- Exodus 3:14

“ ISRAEL IS MY FIRSTBORN SON.”

- Exodus 4:22

I guess my entire journey through the books that I did study the last month could be summarized in the best possible way in the above verses.  So we went through Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy and Joshua. God reveals Himself to Israel as “I AM” - the Almighty, self-existent, Sovereign God and breaks into their history and redeems them from slavery and makes a covenant with them. All through the wilderness, He continues to reveal Himself as Holy even as He establishes the ordinances for worship and framework for social living. He judges them for their disobedience yet as a Father continues to be Faithful to them. And finally leads them into the promise land and through Israel brings judgment on the nations that were wicked in His eyes. There is no possible explanation as to why God chose Israel, but the only pointers we have is that He calls them His ‘firstborn son’ and says that He loves them. Case closed!!

As I went through the books, there were 3 things that spoke volumes of truth and conviction in my life. The first one is that God is Holy and he desires His people to be holy. As I look into my life, time and again, I am convicted of the little compromises I make which leads to bigger gaps in my life. It was a huge challenge to be humble knowing that as you consciously walk in the revelation of God’s holiness, the more filthy and wretched you see you are. The second truth was that of God’s faithfulness. I look into my life and this is unbelievable that I am studying the Bible in one of the best SBS around the globe, in the best academic settings, surrounded by committed staffs and passionate students and God has constantly met all my needs so far in my journey and I’ve had no lack. This is awesome and I have for sure seen His faithfulness and it has been a wakeup call for me to continue trusting in His faithfulness not only during SBS but for the rest of my life. The third conviction that I had was from Moses’ life and leadership as a servant of God who loved God and loved the people of Israel despite their rebellion. It was convicting because I have given up on people so many times assuming that they are never gonna change, while I fail to recognize that it is not I who change them but GOD. Thus I walked away from these books challenged to love God and walk in the conscious realization of His presence and seek to serve the people that I am called to work with wholeheartedly.

SBS in Taiwan - 4th month update

It was my birthday on the 24th of July!!! J

And I woke up that morning with this thought that it has been 27 years of enjoying the unmerited favor of God. I look into my life and there is nothing I can boast of except Jesus and His love for me. I try my best to wrap up my mind around His love and understand but my finite mind just cannot fathom. I guess the best I can do is to just experience it and humbly know Him as He reveals Himself.

The last month has been so far the most difficult one for me. We began the 2^nd quarter with the Gospel of John, continued with the 3 epistles of John and then finished the New Testament with the book of Revelation. And then we kick-started the study of the Old Testament with Genesis. So we started with the gospel narrative, went on to epistles, then to apocalyptic literature and then came back to historical narrative. So I guess it has been hard just trying to discipline my mind to deal with each literature style differently. But I have seen the grace of God and His power just beyond measure in my weaknesses. And I did enjoy each of the book and the immense freedom it brought into my life. I still remember the conviction that God brought as I was charting the writings of apostle John. “God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in Him.” I had to question myself whether I was really comfortable with LOVE, because I was convicted that, “if I am not comfortable with LOVE, then I am not really comfortable with GOD and if I am not comfortable with GOD, then I am not really comfortable with LOVE”. Then as I finished up with Revelation I realized that I have more questions than answers. But what a freedom I had while charting. I always grew up with this dread about the book of Revelation and I honestly don’t remember studying it prior to this. But then the book taught that it was intended for comfort and encouragement to the original readers and so should it be to me. Any purpose of studying the book that is contrary to that of God’s or the author’s should be discerned. And then finally came Genesis – a book that I was always waiting to study and just with the 1^st book in Old Testament, I have seen the Sovereignty, grace and holiness of God like never before. So I am excited about the Old Testament and the joy of spending the rest of the 5 months studying it.

I do want to thank you for praying for me in this journey of mine with the Lord and with His word. Keep praying for more of His grace and strength as I get into the big books of the Old Testament and that I would be humble enough to hear Him as He speaks to me.

SBS in Taiwan - 3rd month=1st quarter update

Well I have finished my 1^st quarter (3 months) of SBS by the grace of God and thanks to your prayers. As I sit down to write this update on what God has been teaching me throughout the last month, I am reminded of the song “Shun Hypocrisy” that my band “24x7” had come up with.

“God please break into our lives and save us!

Shun hypocrisy! Shun hypocrisy!

May we not live our lives like the Pharisee!

Shun hypocrisy! Shun hypocrisy!”

And then the song fades with this cry for believers to return to the truth of God,

“Why have we exchanged truth for lies?

Why did we ever have to compromise?

Why did we let go of our inheritance?

For all the pleasures temporal instead.”

Last month we did study 1 & 2 Corinthians, 2 Timothy, Hebrews, 1 & 2 Peter, Jude and James. I am amazed to see how God desires that we stand firm in His truth and walk in it despite all costs. And this theme of living out the truth of God in holiness and love and enduring suffering because of it came up over and over again all through these books. I am humbled to see the unconditional love of God in the writings of Paul that pursued the Corinthian church in all of their wickedness and sins so that they would repent and return to the truth and reflect the holiness of God. The author of Hebrews exalts the Supremacy of Jesus over all things to challenge the readers to stand firm in what they’ve believed and to endure suffering because Jesus is the ultimate truth. Peter, Jude and James all emphasized the same thing and challenged their readers to pursue God in truth and persevere in it. All because they knew that God is Holy and there is absolutely no shadow of deceit or corruption in Him. And Paul in his final words to Timothy challenges him with the same truth as he writes,

“For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.” (2 Timothy 4:3-5)

As I look into my life and in the church today, this is voice of God crying over us and urging us to return to Him and to pursue and persevere in His truth because He is the TRUTH. And how can we who have tasted this truth not be changed by it and reflect the same in our lives? I pray that we would ponder on this and desire to live it out.

Well I also want to thank God for His faithfulness towards me in providing all my needs beyond all my expectation and I am choked when I see Him move. By the grace of God I got my resident visa, which means I can now stay in Taiwan till the end of SBS. Hurray!!! And so I want to thank you for all your prayers and support in this journey of mine. I am right now enjoying my 1^st break getting some rest and reading Francis Schaeffer. Keep me in your prayers that God would pour out His grace and strength for me to know Him better and I head into the 2^nd quarter finishing the New Testament and entering in to the big Old Testament books.

Blessings,

!!! Perfect day to begin something new !!!

Hi everyone!!! I am a new blogger... Blogging has been on my mind for quite some time but never really found the time and interest to do so... Well an acquaint of mine inspired me to create my blog and so i created one quite some few months back, but i guess i was lazy to start or maybe didnt find anything interesting to start posting with... But today i begin as i turn 26 and hope to continue on!!!!

!!! PERFECT DAY TO BEGIN SOMETHING NEW !!!

!!! THANK YOU GOD !!!

For YOU have been my LORD and my SAVIOR and YOU indeed have all authority over my life ever since the day I was born till today and YOU will always have forever till eternity.

!!! AMEN !!!

I am and always will be grateful to my family, friends, church, mentors, acquaintances and many others who have been a part of me this journey of mine. Good or bitter experiences, short or longlasting relationships -I have always learned something from all of them. Someday I will introduce them in my latter posts.

But from a child till who I am now, I believe I have always been learning and growing.

I have enjoyed God, my life, my call, my relationships and my responsibilities with an ascending degree of maturity and fun. I pray I would be ready for everything that is ahead of me with humility and total surrenderance and faith in GOD.

!!! Bless you all !!!